A Rose by any other name.......

                He paces the waiting room of Saint Mungo’s for what seems like the millionth time, and yet again he glances up at the clock on the wall. It is not a useful clock like his mothers is, this clock taunts him with its mere numbers and stupid hands, ticking. His mother’s clock was at least informative. It at least told you where any of his particular family members were at any given time. This clock however is infuriatingly far less informative. He looks at it again, without really taking in the time and continues pacing.  “Ron” he barely registers his own name, like someone is saying it in a far away tunnel. It echos in his head. His mind is so full of spiraling thoughts. “Ron” he hears his name again more clearly and looks up. His father is there, and puts his hand on his son’s shoulder. “Ron, sit down, everything will be fine” Arthur Weasley tells his youngest son. Ron looks around, he is grateful he has so many people here with him but all he can think about is his wife. His father is there, as well as all his brothers, with the exception of Fred, but he can’t think about Fred right now. Even Charlie has come all the way from Romania to be here for him. Mr. Granger has taken time from his dentistry practice to be here as well. Harry and Ginny are here too, even with their small untidy black haired boy napping on his mother’s lap. He is very grateful for all of them; however he does not take his father’s advice and continues pacing. Something is wrong he thinks to himself, it shouldn’t take this long, should it? He wishes he knew what was going on, would give anything to be able to be in the room with her, holding her hand. Was she scared? Was she in pain? Did she wish he was there by her side as well? What is he thinking about? Of course she is feeling all these things! Please, oh please! Someone tell me what’s going on, please tell me everything is ok, some news! Any news! He looks at the clock again. Desperation and panic are gripping at him as the minutes tick past. Every tick tock of the clock ringing in his head. Has time slowed down? He wonders to himself or has it simply stopped all together? Just to taunt him further? 

            He vaguely feels a hand on his elbow slowly leading him away from that dreadful, taunting clock. He looks up again but see’s Harry this time and not his father. “Ron” he distantly hears his name again. “Ron” Harry say’s again “I know what you’re going through, I know it’s awful and really hard to sit here and wait but everything will be ok”.  Ron looks up, his anguished face looking into Harry’s and said “You can’t know that Harry" Ron says. I am so scared, what if something happens to her? I will never be able to forgive myself. He doesn't dare say these words aloud, he can't bare the thought. “Nothing will happen to her Ron, it’s all going to be ok”. “Do you want to go outside with me and get a bit of fresh air?” Harry asks. Ron glances down at his own wrist watch now, “No. No Harry, I better stay here” Ron says looking around extremely distracted. “I want to see her the second I’m allowed”.  “O.K. Ron, if that’s what you want but you should sit down or get some water or something, you’re starting to look pale”. But Ron wasn’t listening to him anymore and continues his pacing.

            The rest of his family is talking in excited whispers. How can they be so calm? Can’t they see something must be wrong? Can’t they see how anguished he is? George even dares to joke about ikkle Ronniekins having a panic attack. Ron doesn’t care though, he’s barely aware of anything in this world. Like they are all fuzzy and he can’t see them, or speak to them or think. George quickly backs down after one look from their father. Why is this taking so long? I am going to lose it if I don’t hear something soon! The minutes start to tick by in silence. Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. That damn infuriating clock!  As endless time slowly moves by, he doesn’t know if it has been minutes or hours or days, he just needs to know something, anything, NOW! As soon as he thinks he’s going to go walk up to the receptionist desk and demand that he be let in, the double doors swoop open and he see’s Mrs. Granger emerge and he sigh’s with relief. “What? What’s happened? Is she ok? Am I allowed in? What’s happened” Ron can’t stop himself from blurting all of this out into his Mother-in-laws face. “It’s ok Ron” She says. “You can go in now; they are in the second room on the left”. Ron bolts from the waiting room, his heart thudding rapidly in his chest. His time has finally come; he can finally see his wife, make sure she is ok. He stops at her hospital room door and attempts to compose himself. Taking a deep breath he walks into her room. His mother turns to him with tears welling up on her eyes. “Oh, Ronnie, she did beautifully, congratulations” His mother says as she hugs him tightly and leaves the room. 

            Ron walks slowly up to her bed; she looks so tiered with her bushy hair pulled back into a pony tail and loose strands clinging to her damp forehead. Yet, he’s never seen her look more beautiful, radiant, like the sun was shining though her very skin and not from somewhere far away. He feels like he is sleep walking as he hazily makes his way up to her and kneels by her bedside. “Hermione, I was so worried, how are?” She smiles her radiant beaming smile and says “I’m fine Ron, really. Would you like to meet your daughter??” Ron blinks several times….He…..He has a daughter? Him. Ron?  “It's……it’s a girl” He whispers, more to himself than anyone in particular. He stands up, leans in and kisses his wife gently on her forehead. “I…. I can’t believe we have a little girl Hermione”. He looks down into the pink bundle of blankets into the face of the little girl….his little girl, wrapped in her mother’s arms. She was so beautiful sleeping soundly, her little cheeks flushed a rosy color and her little wisps of strawberry hair. He tried to speak but he has a quickly swelling lump in his throat. He just stares at his daughter and then looks up at his wife, swallows hard and says “She’s…..she’s beautiful Hermione”. “I know she is, she looks so much like you” and she smiles. “She so obviously inherited the famous Weasley trait I love so much, with her vividly red hair. But….she also has your eyes”. Ron looks down again at his sleeping daughter. “Do you want to hold her?” He hears Hermione ask. His heart starts slamming again in his chest, him? Hold this tiny little person? Him with his ruff Quidditch hands on her delicate little body? No, he couldn’t possibly. He would hurt her. “I don’t want to wake her up” He says lamely. He knows he can’t avoid the moment to hold his daughter, their daughter, forever but she is just too new. Minutes old….no, he couldn’t do it. Hermione on the other hand just smiles at him, reaches out a hand and slips it into his. “It’s ok Ron, she won’t bite you. Just sit down and you can hold her”. Ron was so nervous. He didn’t want to hurt his daughter, but he sat as his wife had asked of him. It’s the least he could do after she has been through so much, after she has held this little being in her body and went through what seemed like, to him at least, endless hours of labor. So he took a breath and simply said “okay”.

            She placed the warm pink bundle in his arms, and the lump swelled again in his throat. He just stares down at the little girl with rosy cheeks and strawberry locks. Tears start to obscure his vision as he looks down at his little girl. He takes in everything about her, her soft skin, her warm weight in his arms, the feel of breath rushing in and out of her tiny little body, and a single tear streams down his cheek. He tries to hide it, but his wife simply wipes it away with her thumb and puts her hand on his knee. “She has your nose” He tells his wife and finally he smiles. It felt like he hasn’t smiled in days, week’s maybe. He has been too worried over everything, frightened for his wife and the impending birth of their baby. He bravely withdraws one of his arms cradled around his daughter and reaches out and takes his wife’s hand in his. “I love you” He tells her. “You are amazing and I feel like the luckiest guy in this whole wide world. I now have two of the most lovely ladies on the planet”. And he brings her hand to his lips and kisses it gently.  She smiles serenely at her husband and her daughter. “I love you too, Ron”. 

            These minutes were short lived. There was a loud clambering as a sea of red heads entered the room. He looked up in fright, his daughter securely in one arm and his wife’s hand intertwined in his in the other. Fleur and Ginny squealed in delight at the little pink bundle in Ron’s arms. “Can I hold ‘er Ron?” Fleur asks. Ron looks to his wife and she nods with that radiant smile on her face. He nervously hands her over, slowly, gently. Of course Bill and Fleur have kids of their own now, but this different, this was his kid. He wanted her treated delicately, so he reluctantly let her pass hands. Soon enough he was surrounded by people, being hugged from every angle by his mother, his sister and his mother-in-law. His brothers, Mr. Granger and Harry were thumping him on the back and punching him in the arm and shaking his hand with many “Congratulations”. His father hugged him tightly with a huge smile on his face. The room quickly started warming up as so many people crammed into Hermione’s hospital room. “I’m going down stairs to get a drink, do you want anything?” He asks Hermione. “No thanks Ron, I’m fine” Hermione replies. “Okay, I’ll be right back” and he gripped her hand and gently squeezed it. 

            He emerged from the room and was able to breathe again. As bad as he wanted to get into that room to see his wife before, now he just wanted to get away. He went down to the small gift shop and got a bottle of water, walked outside, sat on a bench and took a sip. He quickly zoned out as everything from that day came crashing over him.  The blank look must have registered on his face because next thing he knew, he heard Harry’s voice next to him saying “I hope I’m not interrupting anything”. He snapped out of it and said “No, of course not Harry. Thanks for being here today, can you believe I have a daughter??” “I know, it’s wonderful isn’t it? How are you doing? You were a mess earlier”. “I couldn’t help it, I was so worried and not knowing what was happening was even worse, but I’m fine now. It was just too crazy in that room with everyone. I just needed some air”. “Yeah” said Harry. “I know what you mean. I was so grateful when James was born when Ginny made them all leave.” He let out one short snort. “Yeah I think when I get back up there I will do the same, Hermione needs to rest” Said Ron. “Hey, have you guys decided on a name yet?” Harry asked. “No, I haven’t even thought of that, I wonder what Hermione would like? I kind of would like to name her in honor of your mom, Harry. Lily, she seems so delicate like a flower. What do you think?” Harry seemed to think about this for a little while as he didn’t respond right away. “I think…..that would be great Ron, but Lily doesn’t really seem to fit her does it?” Ron pondered this for a bit. He was right, Lily didn’t suit his daughter, and he thought about her fiery red hair and her rosy cheeks……Rosie…..he like that. “Well…..” Ron started “a rose is a type of flower, maybe Hermione would like Rose? And it is still kind of honoring your mom Harry”. “I love it! I think Hermione will too. What do you say we go up and tell her and I’ll have Ginny get them all to leave again” Harry said with a grin on his face. Ron smiled and stood up. “Yeah let’s go” Said Ron “I can’t wait to see how Hermione likes the name” They started walking back to the hospital as Ron smirked to himself, thinking how badly he wanted to see his wife and his little Rosie.

Number 12 Grimmauld Place

            He lay in the darkness inside Number 12 Grimmauld Place. He should be exhausted, yet here he lies on the cold floor with his hands behind his head thinking.  Thinking of the women that lay feet from him sound asleep, unaware of his sleeplessness. He thinks back to the short lived blissful moment’s he has spent with her, just a few short hours ago, although it seems like an eternity now, they were hand in hand dancing at his brother’s wedding. The way she leaned into him, the smell of her hair, the softness of her skin, he couldn’t get the image out of his head and he smiled. He also thought of the many time’s he has made her cry and hated himself for it. This was back when he barely knew his own feelings, let alone someone else’s. Yet it was painfully clear to him now that he has hurt her many times before. He scowled into the darkness. He try’s to close his eye’s but all he see’s is her smile, and then that smile that he love’s so much turn’s into a look of pure fear. They had just narrowly escaped a couple of Death Eater’s in a small Café’ and she was so brilliant and brave and strong, but that look on her face…..he can’t get it out of his mind. He turns over onto his side and props himself up onto his elbow, head into his hand. He stare’s at the face now that is so calm and peaceful it was as if nothing had happened. Her silhouette bathed in the moonlight. He could lie like this for hours and just watch her sleep, she was so beautiful and it made him happy to see her so peaceful.

           

 “Hermione” he whispers into the darkness. His response is slow deep breathing. He knows she is sleeping, yet it feels so nice just to say her name. He see’s her hand arched towards him and he slowly move’s his own hand to caress her palm. He run’s his fingers over her smooth skin, and then a wild idea comes to his mind. He slips his hand into hers, intertwining his fingers into hers. It feels so good to have her hand in his, so natural, like a part of a long ago missing puzzle piece.  He longed to reach out and lightly stroke her cheek with the back of his fingers, but he won’t, he doesn’t want to wake her. He wants to tell her how he feels; he aches to confess his love to her, but now is not the time and place, now they were helping Harry. He often fantasized about the right moment to tell her, wondering when one would present itself. He wished he knew for certain that she felt the same way, it would be too painful to tell her everything and she not feel the same in return. He was certain that she did though, why else would she let him hold her the way he did on the dance floor? Why would she ask me to accompany her to Slughorn’s party? Why else would she send those birds at my head when I started snogging Lavender? She must feel something. “Hermione” he whispered again into the darkness, “I….I think I’m in love with you”.  He had not expected that saying the words aloud would feel so good. He felt as if his swollen heart had taken the pressure off his lungs, it felt good to be able to breathe again. As soon as the thought crossed his mind she stirred and he found himself holding his breath, he felt his pulse quicken and heard his elevated heart rate pulsing in his ears. “Oh please, oh please don’t let her be awake; this is not how I wanted to tell her” He screams inside his head. But as quickly as she stirred, she was still again, her face hidden from him. He let his breath out and smiled to himself as he lay his head back down onto his pillow. He feels much more optimistic about getting the nerve to say these word’s to her face, that the right moment will present itself, that she does indeed feel the same way. He slowly closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep, with her hand in his.

            She lay’s awake on her couch cushions in Number 12 Grimmauld Place. She can’t quit thinking about the man that lay feet from her. Poor Ron on the cold hard floor, while she’s on these warm soft couch cushions, it was at his insistence however. He threw the biggest fit she has ever seen when she suggested they all sleep on the floor of the drawing room. It made her smile to think he cared about her and was thinking about her own comfort over his own. She keeps her eyes shut and breaths evenly, pretending to be asleep. She can’t quit thinking about the wonderful time they have had less than 24 hours ago at his brother’s wedding. The warmth of being in his arms, the smell of him as she laid her head against his chest, the way he made her laugh and truth be told, blush. This wonderful memory sent a shiver down her body. Ron. He’s changed so much over the summer. I think he’s finally starting to realize that I have liked him for as long as I can remember. All the time’s he has made me cry by his own ignorance has long been forgotten. All that mattered now was the future. She often thought where the future may lead them. She wished she was brave enough to just come out and say how she feels but she can’t. What if he doesn’t feel the same? Would I ruin our friendship? That would hurt worse then just keeping my feelings to myself.

            I hear him stir and my heart skips a beat, I can feel his eyes watching me. He whispers my name into the darkness. “Just answer him” my mind screams at me. But before I can answer I feel his fingers tracing the palm of my hand. It’s so warm and feels so nice, my brain goes fuzzy and I can’t think at all, let alone speak. I revel in the caress and then he does something unexpected. He laces his fingers into mine. Oh my god! He is holding my hand.  I can’t even process how amazing it feels to have his hand in mine. They lay like that for a few unspoken moments, yet it seems like forever. She could lay there like that for all of eternity if the universe would let her. As her mind slowly starts coming out of its blissful oblivion, she wonder’s what he is thinking and what made him so unexpectedly reach out and hold her hand? Then she heard it again “Hermione”, he whispered…… “I….I think I’m in love with you”. Her stomach drops out from under her and she forgets to breathe. She can’t bear to pretend to be asleep anymore, Oh my god! Oh my god! I can’t believe he just said that! Oh how I wish I would have answered him in the first place. I LOVE YOU TOO RON!  Her mind and body spiral out of control, she feels as if she will explode from happiness. She stirs slightly and turns her head away from him, praying the tears don’t come. I can’t suddenly wake up now! Stupid, Stupid Hermione. He would be mortified knowing I have been awake listening to him, enjoying the feel of his hand in mine. She realizes that he is holding his breath too. Once he lets his breath out, she starts to breathe again as well. She hears him lay his head back down as she concentrates on breathing evenly while her head spins and her heart swells. As she starts to calm down, she just revels in the perfection of this moment, and she slowly drifts off to sleep, with his hand in hers.